The Appropriation of "Feeling"

Firstly, I have to acknowledge that this post will likely read very similarly to Michelle's on the same topic, so apologies to Michelle for biting your topic. This has, however, been bothering me since I read Campbell's work, so I feel as though I must blog about it. Specifically what I'm referring to is the constant use of "feeling" rape throughout the chapter.

Obviously, I cannot state whether or not any person who participated as an interviewer experienced sexual assault themselves (and would apologize profusely for attempting to overpower their experience if they had), nor would I ever want to demean the extremely emotional experience that accompanies listening to a survivor's account of their assault. Having done so myself, I can attest to the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness that accompany this. Sympathizing is absolutely overwhelming in this situation, and I know the realization that a woman is never truly safe in the world around her is earth-shattering (as several people in the class attested to during our discussion.)

But, having said that, with the experiences that I have had in sexual assault cases of truly horrifying natures, I would never, ever, deign to say that I have "felt" rape. I have been shocked, appalled, saddened, horrified, disgusted, and have been so affected that I, like some of the interviewers in the chapter, altered my day to day habits in response to what I heard. But none of those feelings or reactions equate to the experience of being raped, and it feels appropriative to me to put reactions to rape narratives on the same plane as the act being of raped itself. It's taking the feelings of the survivors with none of the actual experience itself. It's rape-lite.

At the end of the day, much like the lived experience of racism, the intricacies of living as a sexual assault survivor are not and can not be truly understood by those who have not experienced it themselves. Experiencing the failures of the system -- medically, judicially, socially, financially etc. -- is wildly differently than imagining what those things would feel like if they were applied to oneself, even if there is a level of empathy attached to living as a woman in rape culture. Though I understand and respect the intent behind saying that the cases made the interviewers feel rape, it is still in poor form to draw the parallel between their emotions and the lived experiences of the survivors. It is likely easier and more concise to say that the interviewers "felt" rape through their experience; it is much more truthful to explain to their readers that they understood the aftermath of rape on a more visceral level than they had before.