"I just want him to get help"

This was part of the conversation I had with my friend while she disclosed her experience of sexual assault to me. I felt a whole range of emotions; my heart was breaking over what she’s lived through, I felt hatred towards a man I thought I’d known for years.

But I couldn’t understand when she explained to me how she wanted to confront him, and for him to get help to work through what he’s done. To be honest, I felt like help was the last thing he deserved and all I wanted, more than anything, was for my friend to take care of herself. And what would help even look like, and hoe would it do justice?

In the strange ways the world works, this week’s topic came up and to an extent it has helped me get my thoughts a little more in order. Gotell and Hattem both make entirely persuasive arguments as to why the state, ingrained with heteropatriarchal norms, probably isn’t the best mechanism to justice.

Williams’ article is about feminist forms of justice as an alternative to the state – personal and social transformation, rather than vengeance and retribution. I can see merits of community accountability and transformative justice in Davis’ critique of the true social role of incarceration. From a removed and objective viewpoint, it probably makes sense.

But when it’s closer to home and transformative justice could be what my friend envisages as help for her perpetrator, it doesn’t sit as well. What really frustrated me about Williams’ examples was the recount of the perpetrator who had to step down from a role, but was then later allowed to return. If we’re proposing alternatives to incarceration and a criminal justice system that isn’t working, how is a temporary, forced change of circumstances justice?

I understand Williams also recounts instances where community education has been trialled. But when these issues are closer to home, I feel it’s important to understand every survivor’s experiences are going to be different. Because of this, the only way I can imagine useful help is help focusing on the survivor, not the experience and future of the perpetrator. I understand any emotion I’m 110 percent valid. But I want justice for her, and from a completely non-objective view, I still can’t get my head around conceptualising personal transformation as justice.