The Male Subject

A lot of discussion has been given to considering the conscious formation of the victim and how communication itself leads to sexual assault. The discourse in Hedda’s piece frustrated me because the focus on social construction left me feeling like the concept of sexual assault only existed because that’s the way artificial constructs wound up interacting. She speaks of “internalize[d] cultural ideals of gender and heterosexuality” but ignores the fact that intersex and non-binary people are the most prone to victimization and offered little to no protection (Hedda 122). Even in the discourse it is difficult to describe the events that occur in non-binary sexual assault. Reading her article I felt like “the language” was not so much the problem as the constructs, but we are stuck with the constructs (124). Regardless of what we identify or display ourselves as, the unyielding inertia of the masses will either pressure us or decode who we are in their own minds before ever consulting us.

The Traister piece also put me at a loss. The sum of her piece was a demand, or at least a bid, that women deserve better sex. I know that I’m in no place talk about the enjoyment of women’s sex life, not having one myself, but it is not a flawed metric? We live in world where men are circumcised, arguably affecting their ability to enjoy sex for the rest of their existence and she focuses on the culture of crap hook-ups. Obviously sex should be consensual; I still do not see how it has to be some idealized perfect exchange where both parties have life changing experiences. People are not always compatible, as friends or as more. I cannot argue that she is pointing out an issue which needs to be addressed but I would suggest that the politics of consent and the grey areas around sexual ethics are a far more significant battle to be won before the enjoyment of all sexual encounters be judged. Let the person behind the wheel deal with that.

            I think a factor which Traister would benefit from analyzing is the culture of male emotional silence. Traister claims that “men are not being asked to think of the women having sex as their equal partners,” but many are not even talking about their sex live beyond the fact that they exist. A comment on Traister’s piece encapsulates it humorously: “Thank God I’m gay. I really do pity straight men. For them sexuality is such a minefield.”  Obviously the abolition of sexual assault is the goal but the order of issues to address should be noted. Consent should be established, the political system should respect and identify the significance of assault when it does take place and then the enjoyment of both parties should be without disparity. I do not want to sound like one of those Men’s Rights Activitst lunatics when I say it but Traister asked for it directly, and Hedda alluded towards it, breaking down the patriarchal power structures which affects masculinity would help achieve sexual equality.