What I did like about Hedda's article is her assertion that "Because men are constructed as having a high sex drive, it becomes shameful for men to admit or to exhibit a low sex drive"(Hedda). This is something that is very important to consider because all men do not fit in the heteronormative ideal that society puts out. This something that is perpetuated in the world of straight teenage boys and we are told that they are constantly thinking about sex. This leads to behaviors that boys might engage in because they feel that they have something to prove to their peers. When I think of all the recent headlines in the states about the disgusting behavior of frat boys, I wonder how easy would it be for one boy to stand up and say that this isn't right, we shouldn't be trying to get girls drunk and have sex with them. Their very, conceived masculinity is at stake. And as they grow older this way of thinking becomes normalized. Education is definitely the solution but it seems like even this is not fool proof. The back lash "feminists" are a great example of a voice who would feel that it again it is the crazy feminists trying to exagerate a "bad sex" experience.
This week was a difficult one especially with the examples in Gavey's article. Marilyn's description of having sex "...and he propped the, the um front seats with paint can, and made me lie in the back with my legs out the window."(Gavey 137), was just horrible. And it is true, no one forced her, she did not call it rape, but she still went along with something that she did not like. This is considered normal behaviour "She went along with this unpleasant sex, she said, because it was really important to me to be seen to be normal"(Gavey 138). This was so hard to read, teenagers wanting to be considered "normal" is such a strong phenomenon. How do you stop this kind of behaviour? How do you teach girls they do not have to have such awful sex and keeping this kind of relationship is not important or necessary. Can you actually impart this to a teenager, someone struggling to figure themselves out already. This theme seems to continue in almost every relationship as people get older, having sex because they should, not because they want to. It isn't rape but it is something that is considered normal because of the dominant discourse of heterosexuality. I find it infuriating and after this week's readings, I found that I did not have any answers. This is change that would be on a massive scale, but I can't see it happening. It does not seem like we are moving forward in cases concerning sexual assault, rapists are getting away, there are numerous stories of Aboriginal women being assaulted by the cops like in Val D'Or, women's history are still being used against them; if you throw they cases of grey rape, are we really going to able to change things? From the conversations that I've had with some aquaintences, we have a long way to go.
It is incredibly frustrating thinking about all the politics, societal confusion and constructions that surround sex. I don’t believe there is any true way to look at sex with a blanket perspective as it can be incredibly complicated just to articulate into words. Hedda’s article was a bit of a tough read as it faced a lot those issues head on, and quoted experiences that women had as teenagers that sound a lot like our own. Some of the misconceptions that these women speak about are things that I’ve been convinced of myself and I’ve seen integrated into the media, movies, and many other forms of cultural spotlights. It’s aggravating to think about the things that are drilled into our minds and therefore considered as true. Things like men always wanting sex (though it would be seemingly so easy for people to speak out about the problematic nature of this) are considered accurate, and these cultural norms are then converted into obligations. I think you bring up a good point Aaishah, and unfortunately I think it will be a while before there are any concrete solutions as to how to approach these problems.
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