Before Monday's readings, I have never heard of the grey rape discourse and now I understand why. It isn't expressed in society as it is seen as being "normal"as no one sees it to be a problem. Also, it it such a controversial, touchy subject as it is difficult to define saying no to sexual intercourse while in a relationship.
What really impacted me was reading through the internalization of sexual coercion in early adolescence. As Gavey described, "coercive behaviour is configured as central to young men's sexuality" (122). Young boys are socially taught to act upon what they want, and may go to extreme measures to get it. It may not be violent or forceful, as it can be as subtle as manipulation is. Gavey mentions how "perpetrators defined their sexual coercion as playful and beneficial with the intention of improving a relationship" (122). This perpetuates guilt in women shaping them to become submissive to men which results in this grey rape discourse.
The reason that this really impacted me about early adolescent coercion is that I heard stories in my teen years countless of times that defined the grey rape discourse. It was so common to hear stories of coercion by a male partner which pursued the normalization of complaining and joking about these situations. Gavey then explains how "when coercion is present from the very first dating experiences in early adolescence, it can be normalized as dating behaviour" (122). It was normalized for my friends and I, as we were always taught that guys were going through puberty so it was just their sexual drive that was heightened which we didn't question and willingly accepted.
Moreover, Gavey speaks on the problem of undesired, nonsexual sex and how "women feel like they didn't have a choice when the sense of obligation and pressure is too strong" (124). I can also relate this to my personal life as I always hear women talk about their one, useful excuse. That they were on their period. That excuse would deter the guys from pressuring them into having sex. Now looking back at it, it is absolutely absurd that some men cannot take no for an answer, especially in relationships as it is assumed that they would be even more understanding/considerate. Unfortunately,
it appears that this grey rape discourse is an "underground" issue that will take a lot of work to become a concrete issue and actually be acknowledged by society as a whole.
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