The Silence is Deafening

In her book, “Cunt”, Inga Muscio has a powerful chapter about rape. In it, she states, “Though rape is viewed merely as a crime, it is the fundamental, primal, most destructive way to seize and maintain control in a patriarchal society.” As soon as I read that, my mind raced back to all the survivors whose bodies were regulated in this way in the Campbell piece. My heart ached for the way these words rung true when relating back to the Simpson lecture and the destruction of Indigenous women’s bodies. I hate the way this makes me think of the deafening silence that exists when we have to argue that rape culture exists, or after the rapist has walked out of the court room free, or when trying to grapple with the intense and brutal story that is sitting in front of you when learning about sexual assault. The silence that weighs on a person’s heart, the silence that hangs when you no have the words, and the silence that needs to exist in order for rape to continue.

Some don’t realize how persuasive the silence is. It is this form of power that has women subconsciously hold onto their keys when walking home, or live on the fourth floor of a building. The ‘rules’ society has constructed for female-identified people is rooted in this silence. It keeps us from telling our friends, partners, parents that we are always slightly (and this escalates depending on the situation) afraid of being out by ourselves. Even if we don’t realize it.

And even if we talk, hear, discuss, argue, cry, scream, or read about sexual violence, rape, sexual assault, rape culture, in my opinion it is still something that is seen as you should not be speaking about. And that terrifies me, because not only am I afraid of the situation, my own society is telling me that it isn’t a problem. How is it that this silence is taught? How is it that this silence is normalized and expected? How did the system strip so many voices of their power all at once?

I realize this is slightly messy, and contradictory. I’m struggling with it myself, as it seems like some days I can’t get away from hearing the words sexual assault. But I think, the silence is the powerlessness of the culture it has created. Maybe, it’s more of a feeling and a system then the lack of sound itself.